Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
