Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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