I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
