You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
