yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
