i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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