definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Im part way to drunk.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
