i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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