I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
