Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
