Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
