..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
