All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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