pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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