well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
