I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
