What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
