That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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