Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
