Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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