You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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