he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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