She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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