Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
