I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
