Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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