I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
