It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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