I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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