If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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