I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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