Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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