In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I am mentally ready for anal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
