When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
