I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
