so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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