I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
