I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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