It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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