Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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