It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
