A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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