and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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