Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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