There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
