Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
