it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
