I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He felt like a one man threesome
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize