it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
