Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
