How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
