once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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